From ancient time to time to come,

The Faery Queen has watched the seasons pass. Each drop of rain, each bright sunrise, held inside a heart so big it holds a world... there is nothing too large and nothing too small to fit inside the heart that watches all.

Under a weak winter sun,


















on the edge of the cliff at rocky beach these two were perched...for some time I watched them and slowly to bigger one became aware of me and shot me a look of so much knowing that it had me up on my feet and wide awake... I backed away from their sunset, from their magic because I suddenly felt like my being there was not needed and not appreciated...no menace there just what is...and I can cop it sweet.

In light of moon, in dark of night,


























the faeries gather, in winged flight. I look at nothing, I look at air, I turn my head and they are there.

No matter how dark the night,




















nor how light the day, the faery folk come out to play. No matter storm no matter rain, the faery folk will come again.

Late in the afternoon in a golden light,




















the faeries play for pure delight...their colours rich, their light filled eyes, are seeing nothing near just distant skies.

Amongst the leaves amongst the flowers,



















the faery faces play for hours...under the sunshine under the starlight, the smiles are wide, the eyes are bright.

Against the blue of the autumn sky,





















the eyes that shine do not lie.
The faces fair,
the knowing smile,
come settle here
and stay a while.

A blaze of autumn in the Green Man's hair,


















the light in eye shine always there...
The tears of wisdom, the smile the gaze...
All part of these my Autumn days.

A gaggle of mid autumn faeries,















appearing from the darkness as I walk about the trees lining the creek...a strange light shines back from the water and the sky is lit with yellow and black...night is coming fast and this lot will go with the darkness...

the nights grow longer and stranger and the trees huddle together in the growing gloom as if moving but not...my own Mythago woods.

These are the watching faeries.

This lot are seen only when you are very still...they cluster atop dead trees, or on fence posts and just look to the east, for the rising sun, to the west to watch its setting...to the north to see the rains come and to the south as the cool changes and winters come...

They are very still...so still that it takes minutes of standing before you become aware of them out of the corner of your eyes...when you turn to look they appear to be gone, replaced by a magpie or Willy Wagtail or something like that...

So intent are they on watching the horizons...they are totally unaware of my passing by..and I kind of like that unawareness. Its as it should be.

Yesterday I was feeling too sad...
memories flooded back and as I drove past a picnic area, everyone seemed to be with someone. Times were it was like that for me. Our two girls were off into the big wide world at 17 and we were the same when we were the same age...so we understood their need to be free while they were young and without much responsibility.

You don't plan on being alone... we are a loyal lot in our family, almost without exception bonding for life...

the bond with Don for me is unlikely to ever be broken...and it just got to me for a while yesterday. I was missing the silliness of our little family. The comfort and acceptance being inside such a family brings...missed the surprises, the scares around the dark corners and then the hooting of their laughter. The planning and snickering and all of it...was so good.

I miss my lovely husband's love...oh dearie me... but again it was his silliness and unpredictability I missed...his gentleness...his love which was deeper than anything I think I had ever expected in this life. Right when I felt I could not get control, one of my own picked up the phone far away and rang me...we talked for ages and I felt...not "all better", but that I could handle this, go on with this...

After we stopped talking I went outside...the sun touched the land so gently...and all the paddocks and trees seemed to glow and seemed as a gold velvet...

It was just a bittersweet thing yesterday and I needed to cry...really cry as if I would never stop. And I did...

Then came over the sun touched grass, over the dam and greenery, the bittersweet faeries...a smile on their faces...some a little crooked...and a tear in their eyes...

everything was going to be okay...I felt that. Not now, not next year maybe not for ten years or so...but one day I understood from them, the joy will return. I will laugh easily as I have always done...and my face will once again turn towards the sun. I know this now.

Late afternoon faeries a dancing

Then for no reason at all I see this lot,
as I go down into the paddock to shut the gate late in the afternoon...just a flicker of light and sparkle in my peripheral vision and they are imprinted in my brain...when I look directly, nothing is there as usual. Who knows where they come from or for why...but they are and thats all I need worry about.

This time I feel I have accidentally caught them in mid dance, a slow whirling dance in spirals towards the mellow setting sun...nice to know there are things I can't touch or affect and that they are beautiful and exist not for us to dissect and "KNOW" about...but for no other reason than the joy of light.

Two little lovely autumn faeries

These two little lovely Autumn faeries sat straight up and watched me as I cut back the roses...from in amongst the vines and from round behind the tree they were there. They were slower than usual as the sun was warm and mild and like the cat they had been slumbering in the last warmth of the suns rays.

The water and floods have receded ...






and the earth about me seems clean and fresh...dags hang off the barbwired fence from the flooding...and the faeries...quietly crept back in amongst the trees .




Why would i think they would not...???

Some ordinary faeries

....

who just hang about the house..in between the branches, underneath the stones...wherever the water runs, wherever the birds sing this lot are thereabouts.

Australia cries...Black days ...too much horror.

A late summer's day faeries.

And late in the day after the heat had retreated...and the white bark of the gum trees had softened with the setting sun... they came again...as usual.The shadows laid blue upon the earth and the hot restless day settled to the coolness...what more could I want or need than to be here...

Its been a while since the faeries came to me...

but of late they are there in a lather...its been so hot here; no one goes outside unless they have to ... this first lot I saw early in the morning when I let my cat Cous Cous out...they were there for the moment and in a flash they were gone...I remembered the faery on the right most, who seemed to be the focus of the others... but as I opened the screen door they all whisped away like the light; apart from her...she turned to look at me and her eyes ...those eyes... ah thats another story.
Later in the day this lot slammed their faces up against my window...I had been watching the pair of Blue Fairy Wrens and trying to see where they came from and then went to when this lot turned up. it never rains but that it pours...I can go through a drought of faeries, times when I look out and there is nothing there but the spiders' webs and the small tree snakes and... then there they are again.

But as the summer deepens, and the shimmering heat becomes more entrenched... I seem more able to see beyond the norm and beyond the dam with its mauve and yellow lillies...beyond the snakes just outside the door all of that.

There I was all set up to watch "the Bold and the bewdiful" and this mob slammed up against my big window on the world..., they demanded to be drawn and not sure i have done then justice because of their insistence.

O well back to reality...whats that these days? The intense humidity and heat have made a shimmery sight of the land about me, and the dam is spare of water...the cows in the paddock next to our house don't even seem to want to drink from the dam...they know what I can smell. We need rain...a week of it...to cool and to deconstruct the oppression summer has laid upon us all.

Summer is a comin' in

...and easy to see...the land is blooming under the heat of the sun and the mercy of the rain...this little group of sweet summer faeries I saw sitting in the last rays of the afternoon sun...and then night fell...they weren't there in the morning but I feel them...every tome the sun gets close to slipping down beyond the horizon.... summer is okay right now and nice to know I have friends hereabouts.

Early for Christmas

I'm a bit early for Christmas ......

but when these happy faces warped out from behind Don's water fall all a sparkle...I had to get down on the floor with my pens and pencils and work as fast as possible to capture their faces...not sure...should they be done in pastels or fluro... all depends on the eye of the beholder I think.
Sometimes I remember them in pastels, sometimes the sun strobes across them and they are all fluro...they don't care. Time is as nothing and its all light and colour , water and sun and earth... I was so pleased to see this mob again as I'd been feeling a bit droopy (okay for a woman to feel droopy - wouldn't own up if I was a fellow) ...tee heee.

This year for the first time since about 1977, Christmas will be held at someone elses home. Down through the years because we lived half way between Brisbane and Sydney - everyone came here. They also came here because of the beaches and because we had room and also because Don could not travel... but this year it will be at my eldest daughter and her husband's place...

I am in too minds...feeling tragic because i feel in some way I am leaving Don behind somewhere... and a bit relieved because its not me who has to carry the can ...but i will because I know how hard it is sometimes to be the one who is to fulfill every ones expectations...now its her turn and I will do my level best to help her so its not too onerous...so she can also enjoy -

I'm a good washerupperer...garbage taker outer...toilets cleaner and all round rouse about...

But this year I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE!!!!!!!